"I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being." ~Jackie Robinson
The thing that bothers me most about my generation and those below me is the level of respect, or lack-there-of for others. I honestly do not believe respect is something that is taught to kids anymore.
Not that there a right or wrong way to parent, but I was raised "right" or "proper". I was taught to respect everyone I meet, no matter how much I like or dislike them. Too often have I encountered people my age that have no idea how to respect their peers-- and I'm not talking just about the hoodlums on the street corner. No, well educated, college schooled young adults from decent backgrounds and merited accomplishments disrespect those whom they are closest too.
Not that there a right or wrong way to parent, but I was raised "right" or "proper". I was taught to respect everyone I meet, no matter how much I like or dislike them. Too often have I encountered people my age that have no idea how to respect their peers-- and I'm not talking just about the hoodlums on the street corner. No, well educated, college schooled young adults from decent backgrounds and merited accomplishments disrespect those whom they are closest too.
This is a huge problem for society because how can you learn to respect yourself when no one respects you? How can you say that every individual deserves self respect when those around them show no respect or validations of feelings and opinions? Sure, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, everyone has a right to feel how they want, right or wrong. This is not the issue. The issue lies in others not respecting the opinions and emotions of their peers because they don't agree with them. Not agreeing has never merited disrespect. Look at Congress for example (yes, I know, she's getting political). Congress does not agree on issues but instead of saying "You're wrong, dumbass!", they provide logical arguments to persuade the other party to see things their way. This way, they are not invalidating the issue, but rather using logic to prove there may be another solution.
Now I'm not saying Congress has it perfect. Trust me, they aren't my favorite people either. But the message is still the same. Fighting is perfectly healthy (of course I do not mean physical fighting), as long as you still respect the one you are fighting with. Respecting others' feelings and opinions is crucial to compromise.
When I was in second grade, my "best friend" Danielle flipped on a dime and started hating and bullying me. Everyday, I came home crying and my parents said to "Kill her with kindness". When you've been hurt, this is a lot harder than it seems. And in second grade, you don't have enough of a worldly concept to be able to fully grasp this. However, one day it was rainy and we were the only two at the bus stop. I had an umbrella and she did not. At age seven, I stood for five minutes debating whether or not I should share my umbrella with a girl I was afraid would call me names and kick me. In the end, the bus came and I never had to finish my decision, but I was learning that no matter how much hatred I harbored for this girl, I still had respect that she was a person with emotions and opinions. I'll never know if she would have bullied me or thanked me for offering my umbrella and to this day I wish I would have offered it.
Maybe it's my own experience with being disrespected that makes this such an issue with me. I hate being talked over, as if what I am saying is too trivial for the other person to listen. And I hate when people say, "You don't feel that way" or "You're just pretending to feel that way for attention". Nothing boils my blood more than that sort of disrespect.
I had an incident with my mother four years ago on this matter. I told her I was feeling like she didn't respect me or appreciate everything I did since my dad and sister moved out. And she told me that I was making it up and that I was an ungrateful bitch. That was what began my depression. And I know I'm not the only one out there who has been disrespected to the point of depression.
Now I'm in a situation with people whom I thought were my friends and whom have stopped respecting my feelings and opinions. I don't want to "Kill them with kindness". I want them to hurt. I want to be the biggest bitch they have ever seen because when you mess with a lion, you get the claws. Is this the right thing to do? No, of course not, and I know the right thing to do is to just be kind. But they don't deserve it.
But how do you measure how much someone deserves to be respected? You don't. It is not anyone's job to say who deserves respect and who doesn't. Whether you have been hurt or simply don't like someone, that is no excuse to show disrespect. So hold the door, listen to what others say, come to a compromise, say excuse me, apologize, and share your umbrella. Showing respect exemplifies the highest level of character. No one ever thinks a respectful person has poor character.
When I was in second grade, my "best friend" Danielle flipped on a dime and started hating and bullying me. Everyday, I came home crying and my parents said to "Kill her with kindness". When you've been hurt, this is a lot harder than it seems. And in second grade, you don't have enough of a worldly concept to be able to fully grasp this. However, one day it was rainy and we were the only two at the bus stop. I had an umbrella and she did not. At age seven, I stood for five minutes debating whether or not I should share my umbrella with a girl I was afraid would call me names and kick me. In the end, the bus came and I never had to finish my decision, but I was learning that no matter how much hatred I harbored for this girl, I still had respect that she was a person with emotions and opinions. I'll never know if she would have bullied me or thanked me for offering my umbrella and to this day I wish I would have offered it.
Maybe it's my own experience with being disrespected that makes this such an issue with me. I hate being talked over, as if what I am saying is too trivial for the other person to listen. And I hate when people say, "You don't feel that way" or "You're just pretending to feel that way for attention". Nothing boils my blood more than that sort of disrespect.
I had an incident with my mother four years ago on this matter. I told her I was feeling like she didn't respect me or appreciate everything I did since my dad and sister moved out. And she told me that I was making it up and that I was an ungrateful bitch. That was what began my depression. And I know I'm not the only one out there who has been disrespected to the point of depression.
Now I'm in a situation with people whom I thought were my friends and whom have stopped respecting my feelings and opinions. I don't want to "Kill them with kindness". I want them to hurt. I want to be the biggest bitch they have ever seen because when you mess with a lion, you get the claws. Is this the right thing to do? No, of course not, and I know the right thing to do is to just be kind. But they don't deserve it.
But how do you measure how much someone deserves to be respected? You don't. It is not anyone's job to say who deserves respect and who doesn't. Whether you have been hurt or simply don't like someone, that is no excuse to show disrespect. So hold the door, listen to what others say, come to a compromise, say excuse me, apologize, and share your umbrella. Showing respect exemplifies the highest level of character. No one ever thinks a respectful person has poor character.
And just because I feel like this ties in, I'm going to end on another quote:
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